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 Feeling suicidal?  You are not alone.

Read on!  You will find healing and many reasons to live.

From Self-Hatred to Healing:

I am now 47 years old and I would say that I spent the first half of my life in depression and despair.  In order to share my experience, I will outline the various things that have made me feel suicidal and I will offer alternate ways to cope with such situations.  I will explain why Darwin’s “survival of the fittest” is faulty thinking.  I also will offer a list of reasons to live, even if we, as humans, are at times vulnerable.  Painful feelings threaten to crush us when we feel weak, but feelings are only feelings.  Behaviors and choices are what control the outcome! And our thinking is what is behind our behaviors and choices. So I have acknowledged my negative thinking and have revised what I believe about myself, others, and God.

Anti-depressants have improved the quality of my life tremendously, but they cannot do it all.  They do not fix life circumstances, and they cannot change my life-long patterns.  That is why it is recommended to combine medication with psychotherapy.  I did this.  It helped somewhat, but the ideas noted in this publication are what made me improve in leaps and bounds.  It was God who healed me in so many ways: my self-esteem, my negativity, my addictions, and my endless search for happiness outside of myself.  I believed that if only I could find the right love relationship, the pain of my past would leave me.  If only I could gain the approval of others… If only I could stop making mistakes….then I would be happy.  None of these worked for me.  What worked was finding out about God and about His relationship to me.  Following God’s will has done miracles for my mental health.  I have not felt suicidal in years.

This site is for suicide survivors and anyone who has a problem with suicidal thoughts.  It was inspired by Robin Williams.  I understand that Robin Williams suffered from addiction and depression.  I don’t know the details and I don’t have to.  He was such a special person, beyond measure.  He can never be replaced, ever.  His suicide prompted me to do something about suicide.  This site is also for youth suicide prevention. Although I don’t have a lot of training in dealing with suicidal people, I consider myself to be in a unique position to help others. I was suicidal for nearly 20 years, and I got through it.  It started at age 5 and continued through my teens and young adulthood.  I wouldn’t be here today if nobody helped me.  I’m hoping that my writings can “pay it forward.”  I love people and I want to help extend lives of severely depressed people for several reasons.  One reason is that I hope people will have more time to get right with God.  If my writings can encourage someone to choose to live against the odds, in spite of momentary misery, then there is a chance for that person to overcome.  I hope they will find happiness in the end, even if it seems impossible now.    My Mistakes in Thinking

Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: